FMA: Circumstances: Sustained

[branchandroot]

Fic post from my archive.

Sustained

When it comes down to action everyone has to find a way to handle the stress. Plot With Porn, I-4.

• Associated fanart: Roy with Violin by Hikariblue

"If you die doing this, the way you think you're going to," Ed growled, lifting Roy's chin until they were eye to eye, "I swear I'll bind your soul to your damn desk, and you'll spend the rest of eternity buried in paperwork."

Comments

[branchandroot]

Have I mentioned, lately, that you're a goddess?

I'll definitely tighten up that section, because that's *supposed* to be the first indication that Ed's disapproval/fear makes Roy willing to throw his life away.

Lots of revisions tomorrow, I'll probably have a big email with attachments for you late in the day.

[scimitarsmile.livejournal.com]

Yeah, well, join the club - I just had to have a friend go over dialogue with a fine-tooth comb to make sure it's both IC and in-canon for a backstory...so I know the tendency to just say, "okay, this is clear, let's move it along" rather than delve.

And, y'know, DELVE! is the name of the game. ;D

Lookin' forward to email.

[scimitarsmile.livejournal.com]

Just reread this, and realized what I'd forgotten to add:

I'll definitely tighten up that section, because that's *supposed* to be the first indication that Ed's disapproval/fear makes Roy willing to throw his life away.

Err, did you mean that? That reads like Roy is willing to throw his life away because of Ed's disapproval or fear. As though Ed's reaction makes Roy's life less important? I'm guessing that's just typing one thing and thinking something else, because it doesn't make sense to me. Or it does, but not in a good way. Heh.

[branchandroot]

Not in a good way, no, but still accurate. Ed has, by this point in the arc, become Roy's moral compass, because Roy doesn't entirely trust himself. His "brightness", where Roy sees only darkness in himself. And when his brightness reacts with anger/fear/revulsion, apparently to him...

It's not pretty.

...lots more revision. *sighs* I knew this would be a hard one to render without serious expository outtakes, which I don't like to do.

[scimitarsmile.livejournal.com]

Well, it depends. If you're doing the entire arc solely from Ed's POV, then yes, it's going to take some figuring out on Ed's part to completely understand the dynamic, and why Roy shut himself off. And, from where I stand, if I were Ed, I don't think it'd be possible (or honorable) to seduce someone into coming around, so to speak, if there's an underlying issue that must be addressed. Obviously the seduction is, in its own way, both apology and forgiveness, after and before the two facts.

However, if you're not going solely from Ed's POV, then you have two options. Either Hughes plays a role as Roy's foil, or it's Hawkeye. Either one could bring different elements to light, while never entirely touching on the actual issue - as I wouldn't expect Roy to spill his guts to either, but neither would be fooled by his dancing around the topic, either. It could be as simple as Roy straightening up his paperwork and Hawkeye coming in, dropping off stuff to sign, and leaving with the words, "he doesn't hate you, and he won't." or something simple...

Just some thoughts, since I'm full o' brainstorming while preparing for the Big Scene From Hell. wahh.

[branchandroot]

The arc as a whole shifts from Roy's pov to Ed's and back and forth. This story is pretty much committed to Ed, I'm not sure I could gracefully split off for Roy. The timetable is too tight.

*chews nail*

Maybe what I really need here is another Roy pov introspective to come before this, and set it up. That could work...