Actually quite good people skills

[branchandroot]

Brief Guardian meta, because I keep tripping over mentions, here and there, interpreting Shen Wei as having bad people skills, sometimes phrased as “how do human?”. And it’s just so opposite my own reading of the character that it trips me up in the middle of writing, and then I sit there for a few minutes staring into space and blinking in befuddlement.

I mean. Shen Wei is a teacher. And while it’s quite possible to get a job teaching with bad people skills (especially, alas, at university level), you do not get to be a popular professor with bad people skills. All the professional interactions we see are him being welcoming and encouraging to his students and sympathetic to people Having Emotions (eg Li Qian and Zhang Ruonan). And then there’s his reaction to being brought in for questioning, early on, which is to play every questioner like a violin—and he only has unfair prior knowledge of one. He also has that effortless non-verbal communication with Zhao Yunlan even when they’re fighting. And while it’s romantic to say that’s because they love each other, True Love does not automatically make a person able to pick up non-verbal cues. (Be nice if it did, but alas, no.)

The only moment I can see that truly demonstrates interpersonal awkwardness is when Zhao Yunlan prompts him to comfort a distraught woman, at which point Shen Wei takes a hasty step back and shoves Zhao Yunlan himself into the breach. And, really, that read far more strongly to me of “You want me to do what with a woman?”. Considering how fast Zhao Yunlan beats a parallel retreat on being confronted with a woman trying to confess her love, I really hesitate to take such behavior as a general indicator of low people skills.

Shen Wei is habitually autocratic, when he’s in Official Mode. He’s intensely reserved about personal things, unless of course he’s talking to Zhao Yunlan. He’s easily flustered when presented with hope where he thought there was none. But bad at people, or even at silly humans and their rules? I just don’t see it.

Comments

[branchandroot]

*ponders* That’s a really interesting point, because Zhao Yunlan also reads to me as having a great deal of difficulty letting people in. He shows emotion far more easily, but whether that emotion is genuine... well, whenever he’s smiling I pretty much tick the box for “this is manipulation”. He does demonstrate trust in others more easily, at least for the extremely limited subset of his team, but of course that’s what makes his see-saw of trust/don’t-trust with Shen Wei so poignant, especially when Shen Wei is standing there wearing a mask but still holding out his heart in his hand. They’re just a fascinating study in parallels and opposites.

(Thank you for such a thought-provoking comment!)

[winter_blossom]

...but of course that’s what makes his see-saw of trust/don’t-trust with Shen Wei so poignant, especially when Shen Wei is standing there wearing a mask but still holding out his heart in his hand...

I think you just broke my heart with that line! A perfect summary of their relationship, and why, in a way, I don't 100% believe they were a couple in the drama like they were in the novel (no matter how much I want to!) They're a bit too similar re: masks and boundaries and insurmountable walls of introversion compared to their novel selves to ever have been able to get together. Heck, if they'd been better at communication, they might both have survived the finale! (Not that I'm complaining; I personally liked the ending, heartbroken though I was.)

[qikiqtarjuaq]

I think Zhao Yunlan has the "I am schmoozing with people because a Chief has gotta do what a Chief has gotta do" smile, and he also has a genuine smile for the people he cares about, like when he's snuggling with Da Qing on the couch, or when he sees Shen Wei for the first time after his eyes are cured.

The first bit of cat-and-mouse games he had with Shen Wei definitely had a quality of him wanting to trust Shen Wei, and being drawn to Shen Wei in a way he's never felt before. But also still maintaining his suspicion - I call his approach back then flirt-terrogations :P. I think they never truly get past that until the time travel occurs, and by then things have gone to hell too much for them to communicate. On some levels, I wish the bench relaxation scene had happened after the time travel!

I love what you said about Shen Wei wearing a mask and not revealing all of himself, but whole-heartedly loving Zhao Yunlan without any doubt.