Some commenting with Rana crystalized something for me, so have some thoughts on the topic.

Thesis: Wei Wuxian's defining feature is his empathy.

( spoilers )

And really, that's what I like most about Wei Wuxian's character, even more than his snarky sense of humor or the whole wrestling-with-cosmic-power thing. He can fuck up sometimes, yes, but in the end every step he takes is rooted in empathy. That's what makes him shine, to me. About the only time that ever fails is when it should, perhaps, be directed at himself, hence his novel-side obliviousness to Lan Wangji's world-ending crush.

So, I started reading _Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation_, at least in part because I need something plotty while I scrub through Giving You A Dreamlike Life to find Zhu Yilong's scenes. And I'm starting to wonder if "utterly inadequate secret identity" is a common trope in Chinese literature.

Nirvana in Fire did this too. Here's Lin Shu waltzing around acting exactly and extensively like himself. (The sword-grabbing will never not be hilarious.) About the only thing he does to conceal his old identity is to not actually introduce himself with "Hi, I'm Lin Shu, long time no see". Almost everyone who knew him figures it out promptly, despite appearances.

Similarly, here's Wei Wuxian, looking very different and yet not fooling a single soul who knew him. But still wandering around going "gee, it's almost like they know who I am, but of course that's impossible", just as if every action he takes doesn't practically hang a sign around his neck that says "hi, I'm back!". Which, of course, makes Lan Wangji's bland-faced execution of what's obviously over a decade of accumulated payback fantasies even funnier.