branchandroot: oak against sky (Default)
Branch ([personal profile] branchandroot) wrote2004-08-19 09:05 pm

PoT: Mirror Writing: Fence

Fic post from my archive.

Fence

A typical day in the life of Ryouma and Momo, with a few extra revelations on Momo's part. Karupin gets in on the action. Drama With Getting-There Romance, I-4

That furball was the only living creature he had ever seen Ryouma look at with open tenderness, and Momo had a good idea of who would lose if it came to a choice between the cat and himself.

[identity profile] aishuu.livejournal.com 2004-08-20 08:12 pm (UTC)(link)
I know I'm showing my Tezuka fangirlism here, but nice work on the difference in honorifics. It's a subtle difference, but it illustrates the year chance.

Tezuka is such a formative part of Ryoma's life. I lik ehow you showed how Tezuka had a "ripple effect" on Ryoma - starting with tennis, and how it carried onto something more. It's nice to see it highlighted so well - I love Momoshiro as the narrator.

No arguments on this one - aren't you glad? *hearts*

[identity profile] risingtides.livejournal.com 2004-08-21 02:11 pm (UTC)(link)
It's the little differences that elevate a writer to "good" in my mind. It's when someone takes the time to check on something, research a small nitpick that makes me *shimmer*. The social changes are very interesting - I think Oishi might actually be in the hardest position, socially - though Tezuka's is intriguing. Hell, Momoshiro's and Ryoma's in this verse as well.

Momo doesn't talk to me. Surprisingly, my narrators are Tezuka and Oishi... and I don't really like Oishi that much. But it's easier sometimes to show the characters you LOVE from a perspective outside, no? I like TesuRyo, but I really think there's something paternal in it, almost.

Ahhh.... *pouts* And I was all ready to fight!!! *shows kitty fangs&

[identity profile] flamesword.livejournal.com 2004-08-21 02:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Rawr! I'm replying here instead of making a new comment because hee, yes! That's so right. I just finished watching the episodes with the backstory of how young Tezuka hurt his arm, and the whole time I kept thinking how much alike the two of them were, are, and are becoming. Tez and Ryo both simply rock, and they just understand each other on a fundamental level, I think. You have such a talent for the subtle blends of relationships in your writing, and you caught it perfectly. I loved it. *sparkles too* I <3 j00!

Loved the reaction from Momo, too, and the interaction between him and Tezuka. (Okay, so my Tezuka fangirlism is showing too... XD) It's lovely, though. So much with the warm fuzzies. ^__^

[identity profile] flamesword.livejournal.com 2004-09-01 09:25 am (UTC)(link)
Aha...so it was you who agreed with me about that, and ultimately to blame for this (http://www.livejournal.com/users/soracia/6271.html)... I knew someone had fueled my rather vague musings on the subject, but I couldn't remember who. ^^; Heh, I hope you like the results!

[identity profile] flamesword.livejournal.com 2004-09-02 04:51 am (UTC)(link)
Hee! Thank you! I'm so glad you liked...it was odd and it came out of nowhere, but I like it a lot. I did try to keep it IC, and think I did, but it's an unusual portrayal for them as far as the fandom goes, so I was worried that people would think it was OOC. ^^; And *squeee!* you noticed. *beams* The competitiveness was a very important part of it, I think--it's one of the main things that I think makes it work. ^_^ As for the ambiguity, yeah...part of that is simply because it's still unfinished, and I could leave it there--I like it as an open ending; but Ryoma-muse insists that there be smut, so we shall see. Fuji is, I think, in for a few surprises. *glee* Thank you for the kind comments...it means a lot, coming from you! ^_^