Actually quite good people skills

[branchandroot]

Brief Guardian meta, because I keep tripping over mentions, here and there, interpreting Shen Wei as having bad people skills, sometimes phrased as “how do human?”. And it’s just so opposite my own reading of the character that it trips me up in the middle of writing, and then I sit there for a few minutes staring into space and blinking in befuddlement.

I mean. Shen Wei is a teacher. And while it’s quite possible to get a job teaching with bad people skills (especially, alas, at university level), you do not get to be a popular professor with bad people skills. All the professional interactions we see are him being welcoming and encouraging to his students and sympathetic to people Having Emotions (eg Li Qian and Zhang Ruonan). And then there’s his reaction to being brought in for questioning, early on, which is to play every questioner like a violin—and he only has unfair prior knowledge of one. He also has that effortless non-verbal communication with Zhao Yunlan even when they’re fighting. And while it’s romantic to say that’s because they love each other, True Love does not automatically make a person able to pick up non-verbal cues. (Be nice if it did, but alas, no.)

The only moment I can see that truly demonstrates interpersonal awkwardness is when Zhao Yunlan prompts him to comfort a distraught woman, at which point Shen Wei takes a hasty step back and shoves Zhao Yunlan himself into the breach. And, really, that read far more strongly to me of “You want me to do what with a woman?”. Considering how fast Zhao Yunlan beats a parallel retreat on being confronted with a woman trying to confess her love, I really hesitate to take such behavior as a general indicator of low people skills.

Shen Wei is habitually autocratic, when he’s in Official Mode. He’s intensely reserved about personal things, unless of course he’s talking to Zhao Yunlan. He’s easily flustered when presented with hope where he thought there was none. But bad at people, or even at silly humans and their rules? I just don’t see it.

Comments

[winter_blossom]

Absolutely this! The way I read it, ZYL is just as much of an introvert, and almost as responsible for their issues in miscommunications, as SW. I think it's also the reason that he was so much smoother and more suave at the beginning of their relationship, when most of his actions were manipulative or had a stronger intention to seduce than to interact on a serious emotional level, than later on. For example, the way he reacted to the eye-healing, while perfectly understandable, did not in any way convey to SW that the reason for his fury was that he didn't want SW to hurt himself for his sake, but rather that he was annoyed about being lied to and concerned about being indebted. I don't blame him, of course, and doubtless the censorship had something to do with it (I don't think "how dare you try to drain away your life when I want to spend the rest of mine with you!" would have gotten past the censors ^^), but the point stands. And SW's barriers are high enough that nothing short of a direct statement would ever be able to get above them.

[trobadora]

For example, the way he reacted to the eye-healing, while perfectly understandable, did not in any way convey to SW that the reason for his fury was that he didn't want SW to hurt himself for his sake, but rather that he was annoyed about being lied to and concerned about being indebted.

Good point! Zhao Yunlan definitely is responsible for some missteps and miscommunications, and I think you're right that he's much more comfortable when he has another goal as a cover. And he has a hard time letting go of that and be genuine.