Actually quite good people skills

[branchandroot]

Brief Guardian meta, because I keep tripping over mentions, here and there, interpreting Shen Wei as having bad people skills, sometimes phrased as “how do human?”. And it’s just so opposite my own reading of the character that it trips me up in the middle of writing, and then I sit there for a few minutes staring into space and blinking in befuddlement.

I mean. Shen Wei is a teacher. And while it’s quite possible to get a job teaching with bad people skills (especially, alas, at university level), you do not get to be a popular professor with bad people skills. All the professional interactions we see are him being welcoming and encouraging to his students and sympathetic to people Having Emotions (eg Li Qian and Zhang Ruonan). And then there’s his reaction to being brought in for questioning, early on, which is to play every questioner like a violin—and he only has unfair prior knowledge of one. He also has that effortless non-verbal communication with Zhao Yunlan even when they’re fighting. And while it’s romantic to say that’s because they love each other, True Love does not automatically make a person able to pick up non-verbal cues. (Be nice if it did, but alas, no.)

The only moment I can see that truly demonstrates interpersonal awkwardness is when Zhao Yunlan prompts him to comfort a distraught woman, at which point Shen Wei takes a hasty step back and shoves Zhao Yunlan himself into the breach. And, really, that read far more strongly to me of “You want me to do what with a woman?”. Considering how fast Zhao Yunlan beats a parallel retreat on being confronted with a woman trying to confess her love, I really hesitate to take such behavior as a general indicator of low people skills.

Shen Wei is habitually autocratic, when he’s in Official Mode. He’s intensely reserved about personal things, unless of course he’s talking to Zhao Yunlan. He’s easily flustered when presented with hope where he thought there was none. But bad at people, or even at silly humans and their rules? I just don’t see it.

Comments

[winter_blossom]

Sort of in reference to xparrot's comment, above:

I think one of the biggest problems is that people try to equate/generalise drama characterisation and novel characterisation. Neither Shen Wei nor Zhao Yunlan are even remotely the same people in the drama compared to the novel, and I firmly believe that we should keep the two canons entirely separate in order to avoid mischaracterisation. I personally get a bit annoyed when people write drama!ZYL as a shameless playboy (though I do agree with the reading that he's bi and has been 'round the block a bit ^^), or SW as an obsessive, possessive dark creature; there is no evidence whatsoever for either of those traits in show canon, imo. Novel Shen Wei is a demon, a creature who is extremely different from a human in terms of biological makeup, psychology, upbringing (such as it were), moral values, etc., etc. So it makes sense for him to fail at being human (in fact, I don't believe he should even try to hide his nature, because why should he?), but not for drama!SW who is, essentially, from a cousin species of humans. Dixingren are shown in drama canon, over and over, to not be all that different from Haixingren, especially when it comes to emotions and relationships. Heck, I'd call it one of the major themes of the show, so it doesn't make sense to me to read the most important Dixingren in the story as someone ineptly pretending to be human for the sake of his lover!

To answer the OP:

I totally agree that Shen Wei's interpersonal skills are perfectly normal! However, he does flounder a bit re: ZYL, not because he's bad at understanding him or empathising with him, but because he does seem to be new to the concept of selfishly coveting something/someone for himself where previously his various duties were his only love. So he seems to think only about how best to protect ZYL and make him happy, regardless of the cost to himself; essentially, I think, viewing their interactions through the lens of "responsibility/duty," which is familiar to him and which he's good at, not realising that a relationship (whether it's based on romantic love or platonic, however one wishes to read their drama dynamic, which imo can go either way) is a two-way street and that sharing burdens is an essential part of a personal relationship as opposed to a professional one. Hence the adamant secret-keeping and self-sacrificing, and the frequent head-butting with ZYL over the same.

[branchandroot]

Excellent points, all. I do find it fascinating how strongly the drama is in dialogue with the novel, but the world building, cosmology, and character building all do seem quite distinct, as you say.

(Which is, me being me, why I had to go and try to work out a plausible fusion of them, but that’s an expanding story arc for another day.)

Definitely agree that the issue of letting anyone else take on part of his burden is one of Shen Wei’s major issues (and also Zhao Yunlan’s, for that matter, which is delightful irony).

[winter_blossom]

Yeah, but the thing is, I don't think ZYL's issues are about letting other people take on the burden, as such; apart from sacrifices of life and limb (which he rightfully won't ask of anyone else), he seems perfectly comfortable delegating even major responsibilities to the other SID members. Which is what makes him a good team leader, as opposed to SW who - I believe not even by choice, but due to his vast difference in power/status compared to other Dixingren and the fact that he was practically raised into the role of military commander (and an army isn't really a team) - has always being a solitary player who doesn't really trust anyone to perform his duties except himself.

ZYL's problem is mainly concerned with emotional expression, as evidenced by his issues with rejecting Zhu Hong until he was literally forced into it by the plot, his weird speech about not being able to fall in love (to SW himself!) in the taxi, the fact that his instant response to the more emotional moments is either flippancy or sarcasm, etc. OTOH, SW doesn't seem to have any problem expressing emotion: he apologises when he's in the wrong, when he's furious about people shirking their duties you can see it radiating off him in waves, he's capable of genuine (non-sarcastic) humour, and his love for ZYL practically fills the screen every time they share a scene. This doesn't mean he isn't very reticent about the actual details of his personal life, because of course he is, but imo emotional expression as and when needed and extroversion aren't the same thing at all; ZYL is an extrovert in a performative sense but very few of his true feelings are ever revealed, after all.

So it's like they're both utterly reserved and solitary, but in two completely different domains. Which, while fascinating from a purely logical standpoint, is also kind of sad when you consider the emotional side of things.