Yuugi-ou: Omake Two

[branchandroot]

Purely for Entertainment Purposes

OK, normally I would sooner swallow ground glass than actually put something like this on one of my web pages, but I suppose I owe it to tradition to do at least one of these in the classic mode. So, here we go.

Disengage decorum.

Engage inner fangirl.

Why Kaiba Seto is cool

Largely based off the anime, since that features only one episode of him being an unredeemable prick, instead of a whole arc as the manga does. ‘Sides, he gets better clothes in the anime.

He reads abstruse and sarcastic German philosophers in the original language.

He wears long coats that billow dramatically in the wind, even when there isn’t any. (I like them on Bakura, too, but Seto wears them more often.) That white number is simply scrumptious. Complements his coloring marvelously.

He’s the only one Pharaoh has ever mind-blasted who managed to pull himself back together.

He’s a superb hand-to-hand fighter who can trounce thugs half again his weight and age. Though, you note, he only ever starts a physical fight in order to extract someone (Anzu in the event) from a death threat.

He can use his cards like throwing knives; how cool is that?

He doesn’t flinch, even under gunfire. Can we say spine?

He can not only drive a motorcycle with panache, he can ride it into a flaming wipe-out and walk away unscathed.

He can fly absolutely anything.

Voice. Yeah.

Pairings (I can’t believe I’m actually doing this)

Seto/Jounouchi. Definite chemistry, particularly given my personal favorite theory that Jounouchi actually admires Seto’s skill and Seto is actually entertained by Jounouchi’s liveliness. My personal favorite suggestive moment: on Battle Ship when Jounouchi is pounding on Seto’s door, it opens, and Jounouchi 1) nearly pounds on Seto 2) checks abruptly and 3) nearly falls into Seto’s chest. It’s cute, it’s funny, and this pair certainly follows the classic formula that any two people who fight like cats and dogs actually like each other a great deal. (Usagi and Rei, Taichi and Yamato, Ranma and Akane, etc.)

Pharaoh/Seto. Um. Um. Well, chemistry, yeah, but. Um. These two are exactly the types to consider top and bottom in the most traditional dominant/submissive manner. And I just can’t see either of them submitting to the other under any circumstances. Not even duress; actually, particularly not duress. The only reason I’ve notated them in this particular order is that it’s especially unbelievable that the one who wins all the duels would agree to take bottom. I suppose I could see Pharaoh as psychological top, but even that’s a stretch. Though the one I think could really see psychologically topping Seto is Yuugi; I doubt Seto has any kind of defenses against that kind of sincerity.

Pharaoh/Yuugi. Completely ignoring the difficulties implicit in any physical consummation of this particular pairing. Pharaoh does indicate during the Battle Ship duels that he is bound to protect Yuugi; protection is one of the classic romantic modes in anime (eg Tamahome and Miaka). There are several suggestive interludes, all at night in a bedroom featuring soul-baring conversations with Yuugi half undressed or in ‘jammies. These tend to inspire in me an urge to yell at the screen “Will you just kiss him already!”. Actually, now I think about it, Shadi also looks to be a spirit, and he can become solid and handle material objects as well as he can dissolve into air and through walls. Maybe he could teach Pharaoh how it’s done.

Jounouchi/Yuugi. All together now, aaawwwwww. It is just the cutest thought, and after all Yuugi does tell Jounouchi he loves him (dai suki da). To be sure, it’s rather in extremis, since Yuugi is about to be blasted, dragged into the sea and drowned, but still.

<rant>

And, while I’m speaking on this subject, can I just take a moment to tell people to knock off using aishiteru so damn freely? That is not what a teenager, or even most adults, would say when first confessing to love someone. Repeat after me: reticence, reserve, restraint. If you insist on using the Japanese language, have the goodness to use it properly. Usagi can use aishiteru to Mamoru because a) she is gracelessly frank and unrestrained and b) they are destined lovers whose souls have found one another again after thousands of years of searching and they’re talking about getting married. Item A, here, is at least as much a factor as item B. For a lovely example of just how impassioned a declaration the simple word suki can be, watch the Cinderella episode of Card Captor Sakura; Touya’s classmate gives us a nice sunset scene, and also a fine example of how a High Schooler would deliver and take a rejection. Watch. Learn. Get it right next time.

</rant>

Mai/Anzu. This shows more in the manga, but Mai behaves very solicitously and protectively toward Anzu (and Shizuka, actually). When things get intense she tends to draw Anzu into a sheltering hug. Rationally, of course, I would say Mai is being maternal or big-sisterly. Since rationality is rarely a feature of these exercises, however, I will take leave to suggest that Mai relates better to women than to men and that, while she will banter with the boys, she shows actual tenderness to the girls. …I’m sorry, but that’s as irrational as I can bring myself to be.

Pharaoh and Anzu. Gee, d’you think?

Mai and Jounouchi. Ditto. With the caveat that she’s seven years older than he is and I have a hard time believing she would take him seriously as a real relationship prospect.

Otogi/Honda. *stretch stretch* Sorry, just can’t make that one. No, not even with the sleeping-tangled-up scene. They’re too obviously stuck on Shizuka.

Bakura/Ryou. Two possible routes here. One, really creepy, amply suggested by the first manga scene in which Bakura talks to his host. “I feel good [being] in you”? Yeah. Creepy and unpleasant and, basically, mindrape. Squick, squick, squick. Two, there’s the somewhat nicer possibility suggested by Bakura protecting his host during his Battle Ship duel with Pharaoh. If we posit that Bakura is responding to the bond between he and his host produced by the ring, rather than pure expedience, we have the basis for an actual (possible) relationship. And it would be nice to have some explanation for why Ryou looks so happy and excited at finding the Ring again on Battle Ship (manga).

Malik/Yami Malik. You are kidding me, right?

OK, my inner fangirl is now satisfied and can sigh dreamily while everyone else gets on with the serious analysis.

Re-engage decorum.

Please, do not, under any circumstances, ask me to expand on this particular page. I will expire of acute embarrassment.