PoT: Standalone: Challenge - Chapter Four

[branchandroot]

Fic post from my archive.

Challenge: Chapter Four

Niou and Yagyuu settle into their partnership. Drama, I-3

"You do realize," Masaharu murmured, "that you can be polite while still smashing them into jelly."

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[provetheworst.livejournal.com]

Masaharu could barely hide his glee as he observed the subtle relaxation in his partner, shoulders looser, breath deeper, head higher. The bright, furious sense of Yagyuu's presence pooled around him, charged the space between them, snapped across the net to lick at their victims. Masaharu shivered, delighting in it.

Oh, oh, oh, I DO love how you write Rikkai. All of them. ♥

I think I like this better than other fics of yours that I've read; I'm not quite sure just why, but... I don't know, something about what you're doing with characterization and how you're writing seems a lot more "real." Dialogue is occasionally stilted, but I can forgive that (...Trying to capture the different levels of politeness in English is really hard, isn't it? x__X)

yes. love this. going to read the rest now.

[branchandroot]

*sparkles* Thank you!

*thoughtful* I think it's Niou, actually. The way his character shaped up, for me, was so complex--gritty and bouncy and intellectual and almost innocent all at the same time. And since he's pov, it affected the style. I like the voice that emerged between he and I.

(...Trying to capture the different levels of politeness in English is really hard, isn't it? x__X)

*groans* Is it ever! And I do *cough* admit to a certain tendency to get high-flown if I don't watch it. *sprinkles Purple-B-Gone on her prose* Something to keep an eye on when I do final revisions!