What's wrong with wish fulfillment?

[branchandroot]

You know your whole damn culture needs therapy when large numbers of people can be convinced that there is something evil and wrong about writing yourself being and getting absolutely everything you want in your wildest dreams. This is even more true when the evilness and wrongness is explicitly identified as the act of sharing, posting, making public, speaking aloud your wish-fulfillment, and being applauded for doing so.

The urge to police other people's pleasure should be recognized as the greatest moral perversion of all.

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Comments

[ex_wicker969]

This. This this this.

Stop adding things to my this-deserves-a-thinky-post pile!

[branchandroot]

*grins* Well, at least I'm done importing for now?

I've always been unimpressed by the whole Sue-shaming thing. If you mean that someone's actual writing is atrocious, say that! But, you know, I really don't think that's what people do mean; they mean just what they're saying, which is really sad.

[ex_wicker969]

I am just not in a mental place where I can have a conversation at the moment (ETA: I said this and then spewed all the rest of this comment) but I totally agree, and yet I also came up writing Suefic through my teens. Being called out for it helped me to learn how to get perspective on myself, to step outside and see myself and my desires, and then, most importantly, to hide those desires which has been incredibly helpful. Most of the environments in which I've worked have been very critical so I needed to weave a protective barrier between the world and the inner me. I wish this wasn't the case but for me it was, so this Suefic-shaming was training that helped me mold my presentation.

I think of all those gold dragon-riding twelve year old Weyrwoman flying to the rescue after the plague in Dragonriders of Pern RPs and man, I never wrote those but I wrote the total self-insert female bluerider stuff and now I just think don't put that out there, it's so clear your deepest desires are to be noticed, to be taken seriously, to have a voice and impact in the world and I'm trained that you just don't put that out there because you're not supposed to be needy, and being known as needy means (a) someone will take advantage of you or (b) think less of you. Which is totally a reflection of the subcultures I'm a part of.

Now I just write lots of characters that all embody bits of my desires, so no one can track them all down ... but I also feel like, as I've matured, my needs and wants are different and more moderate (I can express my need for being appreciated by writing an awesome, well-rounded character instead of OMG Weyr-saving twelve year old Lessa-kin!!) but you're right, that doesn't mean I should be shaming the Suefic. It's what people are feeling, they care enough to write it, and who says we're not allowed a fantasy of total awesome?

... I just see they're opening themselves up to vicious attack, and I want them to stop, so I have this attitude that's part of the problem. It's a big vicious cycle, isn't it?

[branchandroot]

*nods* I think it is a cycle. And, yeah, part of learning to relate to other people is figuring out what's a good time and what's a trustworthy person (and goodness knows I would not peg ff.net as either, myself!). I just find it deeply ironic that, in a space where we spend so much time congratulation ourselves on being subversive and gaining voice for ourselves and owning our desires, there's such a strong current that says "but /that's/ too much to want".

[ex_wicker969]

Now you've got me thinking about safe spaces. And you're absolutely right, though I'd call it hypocrisy. If we can't be safe here, in an environment that professes all these awesome values of subversive and empowering ourselves and self expression, where can we be?