That's an interesting way to categorize things. I think my own work is an amalgam of the realistic and the romantic, with different ratios depending on the mood of the story. Though I've also done some pretty unrealistic things in parody. :) And I can enjoy reading all these three styles, depending on the situation.

I'm not much for working out the sexual roles in my fic -- in fact, I find the happier the story, the vaguer the sex. If I get detailed, it's probably because I want to make you uncomfortable. (Perhaps I have some issues. *g*) It's more about the relationship dynamics, anyhow, not whose bits go where. And most of the time, I don't like to write about anal sex anyhow, so it's all blowjobs and handjobs and frottage. (Oh my!)

I've been thinking lately about how we create spaces for ourselves when we write. Every new fandom, the spaces I find don't fit quite the same and I either have to learn to fit or make my own spaces. I usually end up doing the latter.