Oh, hell. I had an entire response and the screen suddenly refreshed on my behalf... and it's all gone. Damn Microsoft. Shoot the damn programmers.
Anyway...I had a point.
*thinks*
Characters have never talked to me. The story does, though; at the same time, the story is never really plot-driven. It's more of a "drop the character in this environment, and see what happens" - so I'm rarely at a loss as to what will happen next, unless I'm unable to get inside a character's head.
Thing is, I've never had the problem of being too inside a character's head, which is a good thing, considering some of the content I've tackled, and plan to tackle. I'm currently 28 chapters into a story that addresses the healing process for a victim of torture (in essence), and I have yet to write a chapter that didn't make at least four or five reviewers cry - if not more. Each time, I'm a little startled by their response, especially when it's one or two lines that prompted such a reaction. I didn't see it, although I will feel the twist in my gut reading someone else's story, I don't when it's my own. Hell, my own lemons don't do jack for me. I'm...detached, somehow. Not the right word. It's kind of like asking the keyboard how it feels about what's on the screen, I suppose. I only know, these words belong here, and these words do not. I change accordingly, but I can't guage the emotional reaction.
I've only had one character pushing to get out, and she was a joy to write, but that was mostly because there was a story that came with her. I think what I feel most often isn't related to characters, but stories. Sometimes I feel desperate, driven, and I lie in bed thinking, I should get up and write. The story is bugging me - GET IT OUT! Like I'm running out of time, if that makes sense. This would explain how, in the past six or seven months, I've produced a chapter roughly every day and a half...like I'm not even in control. Gadz, I probably sound like an addict, but it's an addict in reverse - instead of using the drug, I'm producing it.
I think maybe this is why I write so fast, when I write the stories down. Nonverbal communication, the internal kind, is extremely fast. I need to translate fast to keep up with it.
Yah. I think that's part of it. I tend to type fast, but it's a desperate kind of speed - like I'm screaming to the story to WAIT UP, I'm typing as fast as I can! Almost like taking down notes while life is going on around you, and when you're tracking that nonverbal, it does move faster than words. Lightening-fast. I suppose there are conversations going inside my head, balancing this line against that, these words against that, this plot twist against that, but because of the speed, I don't see it. Seamless? Opaque, perhaps. Odd, that it would be opaque to me.
What's strange is that when I slow down - as I have, at points, out of a sense that I should - I always trip. The metaphors are too clunky, the characterization too flat. When I speed up, I get these reviews back that laud the metaphor, the subtle use of this or reference to that, and I can only think: the what? Hunh? Are you reading the same story I wrote? Now I understand Tolkein's comment that if you want to read Gandalf the White appearing on the Plain as some sort of avenging angel, you can, but that's not what was in his head when writing - he was busying thinking, move this character here, and then this will happen...Yah, now I understand. The story just takes care of itself, if you can keep up.
*wrings fingers*
Sometimes I can't keep up, and I feel like I'll go mad.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2004-03-09 01:08 pm (UTC)Anyway...I had a point.
*thinks*
Characters have never talked to me. The story does, though; at the same time, the story is never really plot-driven. It's more of a "drop the character in this environment, and see what happens" - so I'm rarely at a loss as to what will happen next, unless I'm unable to get inside a character's head.
Thing is, I've never had the problem of being too inside a character's head, which is a good thing, considering some of the content I've tackled, and plan to tackle. I'm currently 28 chapters into a story that addresses the healing process for a victim of torture (in essence), and I have yet to write a chapter that didn't make at least four or five reviewers cry - if not more. Each time, I'm a little startled by their response, especially when it's one or two lines that prompted such a reaction. I didn't see it, although I will feel the twist in my gut reading someone else's story, I don't when it's my own. Hell, my own lemons don't do jack for me. I'm...detached, somehow. Not the right word. It's kind of like asking the keyboard how it feels about what's on the screen, I suppose. I only know, these words belong here, and these words do not. I change accordingly, but I can't guage the emotional reaction.
I've only had one character pushing to get out, and she was a joy to write, but that was mostly because there was a story that came with her. I think what I feel most often isn't related to characters, but stories. Sometimes I feel desperate, driven, and I lie in bed thinking, I should get up and write. The story is bugging me - GET IT OUT! Like I'm running out of time, if that makes sense. This would explain how, in the past six or seven months, I've produced a chapter roughly every day and a half...like I'm not even in control. Gadz, I probably sound like an addict, but it's an addict in reverse - instead of using the drug, I'm producing it.
I think maybe this is why I write so fast, when I write the stories down. Nonverbal communication, the internal kind, is extremely fast. I need to translate fast to keep up with it.
Yah. I think that's part of it. I tend to type fast, but it's a desperate kind of speed - like I'm screaming to the story to WAIT UP, I'm typing as fast as I can! Almost like taking down notes while life is going on around you, and when you're tracking that nonverbal, it does move faster than words. Lightening-fast. I suppose there are conversations going inside my head, balancing this line against that, these words against that, this plot twist against that, but because of the speed, I don't see it. Seamless? Opaque, perhaps. Odd, that it would be opaque to me.
What's strange is that when I slow down - as I have, at points, out of a sense that I should - I always trip. The metaphors are too clunky, the characterization too flat. When I speed up, I get these reviews back that laud the metaphor, the subtle use of this or reference to that, and I can only think: the what? Hunh? Are you reading the same story I wrote? Now I understand Tolkein's comment that if you want to read Gandalf the White appearing on the Plain as some sort of avenging angel, you can, but that's not what was in his head when writing - he was busying thinking, move this character here, and then this will happen...Yah, now I understand. The story just takes care of itself, if you can keep up.
*wrings fingers*
Sometimes I can't keep up, and I feel like I'll go mad.