PoT: Standalone: Challenge - Chapter Three

[branchandroot]

Fic post from my archive.

Challenge: Chapter Three

Stress in school gives Niou the break in the game he's been looking for. Drama, I-4

Yagyuu was eyeing him like a tiger trying to decide whether some sharp-clawed creature would be more trouble than lunch was worth. Masaharu gave him a brilliant, wolverine's smile, and he snorted.

Comments

[beckymarie.livejournal.com]

Augh. I don't even know where to START. Just... massive squee'ing over here, really. A lot of times when authors make up backgrounds for the characters, they don't always quite click with me, but I could just SEE younger!Yagyuu showing that he knew more about math (and SQUEE to the idea of him being a math geek, LOVE LOVE LOVE) than the teacher and the trouble that gave him for the rest of the year (the other students avoiding him especially clicked with me) and that affecting the way he is now.

Niou's poking at him was brilliantly done (and I have to grin any time he thinks someone "really had it coming" XD), the way Yagyuu never avoids his challenge and that only makes it all the sweeter--it's something like that that really makes them WORK as a doubles pair and you can see why they're the Doubles 1 of such a strong team. Marui's comments about how they were lucky to have cliked the way they did, the way doubles syndrome was present in them like all good doubles pairing was VERY nicely worked in there.

And Yagyuu's snapping was beautifully done, I love that boy here so, so much. *__* The sharp, laser-like (if I can borrow a cliche metaphor) of Yagyuu's eyes came across perfectly, I could just SEE that intense look on his face and feel the tension vibrating in the air between them. That Niou was further incited by seeing the more intense/fiery sides of people really FITS here (....I'm going to be abusing versions of "OMG, this FITS!" a lot, I suspect. >_>) and Yagyuu pinning him to the floor was *___*-inducing.

But I also adored the way they both calmed back down, the way you brought out all these reactions with... well, without resorting to overblown dramatics, is the best way to say it, I guess? They're not chaotic people who lend themselves easily to hysterics and dramatics, but I believed that Yagyuu would lose his cool this way, with those carefully chosen words of Niou's--which WERE just fantastically written. Not to mention the undercurrent of affection ringing through Niou's tone and the stirrings of it we can see in Yagyuu, just by being as open with Niou as he has been. The mentions of the various levels of smiles or the way amusement flickers in his eyes... just... SQUEE. ♥ XD;;

[branchandroot]

*sparkles* The scene where Yagyuu snaps was the one that started this whole story out in my head. Glad you liked it!