*wistful* I guess a sweeping policy of beating people over the head with this essay until they get it is out of the question?
In all seriousness, though, an excellent essay. It will never cease to baffle me how many people just don't seem to have the respect for whoever it is they're interacting with to show essential courtesy to them--which is to say, making the effort to be polite, and to show consideration for the other person's position.
I half-wonder if it's that, as the first link you posted notes, it's because people (especially online, but in some offline situations, too) just don't register that the other person is a human being--if it's a matter of either being so insulated by one's own self-centeredness, or by the medium of the internet, that the other person isn't "real". If someone isn't "real" to you, then making the effort to extend courtesy becomes even more troublesome.
(Vague parallel for offline interactions: how "real" is the person behind the counter, checking your groceries/making your mocha latte/taking the money for your fast food? Although there's a certain differential there...)
*thoughtful* I think it is, definitely, that online interaction simply doesn't trip the same switches that most of us really did get taught as children (widespread evidence to the contrary aside) that make us polite (mostly at least) when face to face.
But then I think how many people in fandom, particularly, say that their online interaction is one of the most real, most valuable parts of their social life, and how does that fit in?
I can believe that a lot of the won't-be-nice-nyah-nyah trend is just bratty teenies pissing in the communication pool purely because they can, and then whining when they get whapped for it just the way they should. (Ah, socialization at work.) But I can't believe that that accounts for all of it.
And if this is one of the most valuable and real arenas of interaction for many of us, then what on earth is the problem with not wandering around acting like a bitch? With, heavens forbid, exercising a little tact and restraint? The prevelance of assholes insisting that freedom of speech only applies to them insulting other people and getting their panties in a twist when anyone points out that they're acting like assholes does not truly puzzle me. It's just humans being humans. But the number of people who act like taking thirty seconds to frame their worlds politely is some dire human rights violation, and who argue this at vast length, and who otherwise seem like reasonably intelligent and socialized people... that does puzzle me. And that may be a fine distinction, between the two, but... meh.
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branchandroot) wrote2006-01-07 02:43 pm
no subject
*wistful* I guess a sweeping policy of beating people over the head with this essay until they get it is out of the question?
In all seriousness, though, an excellent essay. It will never cease to baffle me how many people just don't seem to have the respect for whoever it is they're interacting with to show essential courtesy to them--which is to say, making the effort to be polite, and to show consideration for the other person's position.
I half-wonder if it's that, as the first link you posted notes, it's because people (especially online, but in some offline situations, too) just don't register that the other person is a human being--if it's a matter of either being so insulated by one's own self-centeredness, or by the medium of the internet, that the other person isn't "real". If someone isn't "real" to you, then making the effort to extend courtesy becomes even more troublesome.
(Vague parallel for offline interactions: how "real" is the person behind the counter, checking your groceries/making your mocha latte/taking the money for your fast food? Although there's a certain differential there...)
So, yeah. Word.
no subject
But then I think how many people in fandom, particularly, say that their online interaction is one of the most real, most valuable parts of their social life, and how does that fit in?
I can believe that a lot of the won't-be-nice-nyah-nyah trend is just bratty teenies pissing in the communication pool purely because they can, and then whining when they get whapped for it just the way they should. (Ah, socialization at work.) But I can't believe that that accounts for all of it.
And if this is one of the most valuable and real arenas of interaction for many of us, then what on earth is the problem with not wandering around acting like a bitch? With, heavens forbid, exercising a little tact and restraint? The prevelance of assholes insisting that freedom of speech only applies to them insulting other people and getting their panties in a twist when anyone points out that they're acting like assholes does not truly puzzle me. It's just humans being humans. But the number of people who act like taking thirty seconds to frame their worlds politely is some dire human rights violation, and who argue this at vast length, and who otherwise seem like reasonably intelligent and socialized people... that does puzzle me. And that may be a fine distinction, between the two, but... meh.
People. What are you gonna do?