*nods* I think it is a cycle. And, yeah, part of learning to relate to other people is figuring out what's a good time and what's a trustworthy person (and goodness knows I would not peg ff.net as either, myself!). I just find it deeply ironic that, in a space where we spend so much time congratulation ourselves on being subversive and gaining voice for ourselves and owning our desires, there's such a strong current that says "but /that's/ too much to want".