branchandroot

Having given the matter sober and measured consideration, I have come to the following conclusion.

Konomi, you suck.

In the space of two pages you have totally slaughtered all the characterization you have previously built up.

For one, Ryouma is a brat, and has the Mouth that ate Manhattan, but he is not, or has not been to date, the kind of evil little fucker that would perpetrate indignities on an unconscious opponent.

For another, as Michelle points out, NO ONE STOPPED HIM. Not even Tezuka.

And that says some pretty nasty things about Tezuka himself, things that I had not thought to be true. That Tezuka does not, in fact, care for good gamesmanship and respect for the game and the opponents nearly as much as he makes out.

Getting back to Hal's observation about this not really being a typical sports-story, this is the kind of thing that the VILLAIN-TEAM does.

If I accept what those couple pages say about characters I love, I'm just going to have to cry. And I'd really rather not.

So Konomi? You suck. Get your shit back together, man.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

*sighs* I've been mulling this over in the two days since I read it, and it's not getting much better for me. I mean, the only one who's even a little hesitant about the whole thing is Oishi. No one else even bats an eyelash. The Hyoutei members are standing there, screaming at him to stop and calling him a demon, and it's just... terrible.

I went back and re-read it three times to make sure I wasn't missing something--that maybe Atobe was semi-aware, like he was awake on some sort of exhausted Muga-type level--but I think he's really, really out of it. I don't think he even played the last point. Time just expired while he stood there. And that's just a whole other rant.

This does suck. Particularily since I love Seigaku, and I've always been perfectly happy to watch them coast to victory undefeated. Ryouma has always been a justified, sportsmanlike character until now. After my initial eyeroll reaction, I was actually looking forward to the head shaving, because I had this image of Atobe proudly striking a pose and getting his club to cheer him on while he did it. It would have been fabulous. The whole club could have shaved their heads in a show of solidarity.

Now I'm just depressed. Can I join you by the fire?

*pets* Pull up a camp stool, sweetie, and have a smore. I like your version infintely better than Konomi's. That would have rocked. It would be so very Atobe. And Shishido would have snarked over having to cut his hair /again/, and Atobe would point out that no one /asked/ him to, and Shishido would growl and keep going. And Jackal could turn out to have been watching, and say how they have all seen the light and gotten /real/ style. I think we should declare that the real ending of the match.

*scoots over and nabs a marshmallow*

Choutarou can help Shishido get the spot at the back that he missed while he was busy grousing. And you just know that sweet, loyal Kabaji would have been the one to start the whole process.

I think we should declare that the real ending of the match.

I think you're right.

I think I'm going to draw it. All of them, gloriously bald and proud of it. *sniffs*

And you just know that sweet, loyal Kabaji would have been the one to start the whole process.

Oh, he so would! *hearts* Yes, yes, this is a good thing to be drawing!

... maybe I'll write it up.

I can just see it: Atobe shaving off the last of his hair while all 200-plus members chant and cheer and cry together. Then, he passes off the razor to Kabaji so Kabaji can put it away for him while he continues to strut--and then Kabaji just starts shaving his own head. There'd be this shocked moment where the cheering gets a hiccup, and then they all start up again, louder than before, and then they all get in line for the razor...

God. I have never wanted to fix a piece of canon so badly before.

...maybe we should make this a project?

I really think we should.

And Ryouma would have this grudgingly impressed crook to his smirk, and Atobe would smirk back and tell him better luck next time, and Ryouma would blink at him and point out that he won, what does he need better luck for? And Atobe would toss his jacket stylishly over his shoulder and lift his chin and say that Echizen only one /once/. And Ryouma would laugh. He really would.

And Tezuka would have this quietly pleased look in his eyes as Ryouma comes back, and they watch the Hyoutei club all getting bald.

Yes! Yes yes yes! And when it all settles down, Tezuka and Atobe can shake hands with each other, satisfied with themselves and the conduct of their teams. Hyoutei walks away with their heads held high (and shiny and bald!) and comes back to cheer on Seigaku in the finals as the most noble team to ever be defeated. This is exactly how I wanted it to go! It's how I expected Konomi-sensei was going to make it go, for crying out loud! Because as cheesy as it sounds, everyone wins that way. Hyoutei is on top of the world in a moment like that, regardless of the fact that they lost, and there's nothing to tarnish a well-earned Seigaku victory.

Sign me up for Project Rewrite 305.

*waves pompoms for the two of you*

Right, then! *cracks knuckles and gets started writing this story*

305

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